When my Everything Isn’t Enough

It’s the start of a brand new day. I’m sipping coffee, listening to the clock ticking away, and wondering what this day is going to hold for me. Yesterday was a whirlwind day of Monday mayhem from beginning to end. It wasn’t a bad day-just a Monday kind of day. I did many things but few of them were on my to-do list; my goal for this summer is to put fewer things on my list and just see what happens. It’s a new type of goal for my type-A, get-things-done, always-have-a-list, perfectionist personality, and I’m kind of excited about it! In the process of settling into summer, I am discovering a new sense of freedom.

As mentioned in previous posts, spring was anything but an easy season for me. I was bombarded with much upheaval in nearly every facet of life. At times it was overwhelming; I felt like there was little time to catch my breath before the next change or the next challenge rolled around. I was striving to give my very best to everyone in all things and the results of my efforts only left me disheartened. I planned and analyzed and stayed awake and planned and analyzed some more to make sure that I was being the perfect wife, mom, friend and Christian that I could be in the midst of all the chaos that came with the new year. And I was left burned out, despairing and exhausted by all the ways I failed.

And then Jesus opened my eyes to the truth: “See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are…And you know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin.” (1 John 3) No matter how hard I strive to live well and with the best of intentions, I will always come up short and always be left with a longing to do more and do better. Jesus is the One who accomplishes what I cannot. When I strive for patience, He takes me that extra step; when I want to forgive, He fills my heart with the compassion I need to do so; when I yearn to love more and better, He prompts me to take action; when I seek joy, He shows me how to rest; when I long for a peaceful heart, He reminds me that sin has no power over me; when I am searching for answers, He teaches me through His Word; when I feel lost, He speaks to me and I remember who I am. It’s a dance: He moves and I follow.

This summer has begun well. I am eager to simply sit and watch my children play. I am ready to settle into a relaxed pace, to get distracted, to follow rabbit trails and to laugh every day.  And most of all, I am ready to abide in Jesus and follow His voice wherever it leads me. This summer I am thankful that my everything isn’t enough; Jesus is.

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About wordvessel

Aloha! This blog is a window into the active mind of a wife, mother, woman and individual. I may be busy every moment of every day, but I still have time to think. Many seasons have blossomed and faded within my life, and this blog has endured through all of them. It is safe to say that my writing has matured because of them. I hope that you will be inspired to think in fresh ways as you read my writing. To Jesus be all the glory.
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