My mom recently left after a delightful visit. We enjoyed the wrap up of summer with my dad and the beginning of autumn with her. But as bright as these visits are, a shadow lingers on the fringes, the somber knowing that goodbye is coming ever closer.

As with many negative feelings, I try to spin them in a positive way: at least we made memories; at least the time happened; we can look forward to the next meeting. But no matter what I do or how I re-spin the story, the bitter taste of farewell never lessens. I’ve reflected and pondered and prayed about it and am left with the conclusion that I feel this way because separation is not in our design. I’ve been compiling a list of how things should be and I’m doing this by identifying what shouldn’t be. This usually leads me back to the Garden where we glimpse the best and see it crumble.

The first goodbye in human history was at the edge of Eden. The first humans reached for the forbidden and consumed it and so began that endless concert of farewells. One can only imagine the heart wrenching separations that began at Babel where humanity once again reached for what was not theirs to have. History is a record of endings, separations and adieus; present times are no different. Children grow up and move away; friends get new jobs and leave; marriages end; life gets busy and relationships are neglected. And there is always the final farewell that comes when we are never prepared for it.

The sole creation made in the very image of God was designed for togetherness, for community, for relationship, for commitment. People are designed to bond and build and be side-by-side. It begins in our relationship with God and extends to our fellow Image-bearers. With this in mind, how do we live a life of goodbyes? How do we continue to love others and build relationships when we know that au revoir is around the corner?

I don’t know. That’s why I’m writing this blog today. But I do know that a few things ease the sting a little:

– take lots of pictures so that the memories come alive a little more.

– go back for a second or third or fourth hug so you know you took every opportunity to be close.

– do every day things so that you’ll have memories of your loved one in your daily routine.

– start planning the next visit.

– have things you do every time you are together.

– accept that goodbyes are hard and a part of life and voice those emotions. Don’t try to bottle them in.

As hard as life can be, the good parts are still really good. Soak every bit of them in and fill your world with brightness.

How do you handle goodbye?