Here we are: on the cusp of a brand new year. Saying goodbye to the old year seems especially poignant this time. Perhaps it is because I almost bid it farewell in the spring or perhaps it is because I know people who did not live to see its conclusion. Perhaps it is because each new year seems to come faster than the one before it and the speed of time is beginning to take my breath away. Perhaps it’s because nothing will ever be just like it is today. Of all the faces I know and hold close to my heart, who will only be a memory next year?

We enjoyed our Christmas season immensely. My senses felt more alive than they ever have before. I saw and heard and tasted and felt everything more keenly, so I can make the memories come alive in richer ways. There will be no Christmas exactly like this one again. Next year everyone will be one year older and it won’t be the baby’s first Christmas. Maybe it felt like my first Christmas because it was his.

Today the sun was shining and the brisk winter wind was blowing with determination. A street sign creaked in the wind on an almost empty side road. The sounds felt amplified in my heart just as the empty road and the moss waving from the trees etched themselves in my mind- symbols of constancy and change. The wind will always return but will it be the exact same wind? People will come and go on that road but will they be the same people? The trees and moss will continue to grow and observe but next year they will be different in some way.

And so the calendar’s pages will turn 12 times and it will be the month of Christmas once more. Our traditions will be dusted off and experienced; the lights will twinkle and the cards exchanged and the carols sung. But between now and then I hope to bring with me the wonder that is so easy to grasp at Christmastime. I’d like to slow the days down, make time to play, decorate with a few lights, surprise people, light candles. I would like the Christmas spirit to weave its way into every season. If it does, perhaps I won’t be nearly as wistful when this Christmas fades into memory.