Relationships: the bane and blessing of human existence. We all desire to be visible to someone else; to anchor our value in someone outside of ourselves; to know that our being alive brings meaning to the world.  But what exactly is it that we seek in relationships? What does it mean to love someone other than ourself? And what happens when our expectations are not met?

After much discussion about relationships with a variety of age groups and both sexes, I have come to the conclusion that honesty, loyalty, unconditional love, a listening ear, and a good time are the “must have” qualities sought in friendships. These qualities are what assure us that we matter.  If we can’t find them in a human being, we seek them out in furry companions, in a favorite hobby, or attempt to convince our lonely, longing hearts that we can take care of ourselves. But in the deepest recesses of our stoic soul the seeker has not fallen asleep.

We have been created for community. We are not completely fulfilled until we are loving someone else more than ourselves. This truth demonstrates an intricate design – in our search for fulfillment we provide the meaning, the anchor, the affirmation that someone else is seeking and vice versa.  Think, for a moment, about your search.  Are you still waiting for the assurance that people see you and value who you are? Have you experienced the true love that causes you to entrust someone with your life?  Has an endless stream of disappointments bruised and battered your seeking heart? Do you feel like no one would even notice if you were gone?

I am sure that all of us can answer ‘yes’ to one or more of those questions. If you have come through middle school I know you can! But for some of us, the ‘yes’ might be referring to a more recent time.  I speak from personal experience when I say that there is One who provides the completion we all seek. Jesus is the Friend every heart was designed to connect to. He is the epitome of Love, Loyalty, Honesty, Faithfulness, and every quality in between. When you accept His friendship you will have the ability and resources to be the friend others are longing for you to be.

Love Him first and then love the people around you. You are needed.