One of the things that I don’t miss while I am on summer vacation is the occasional encounter with the student that thinks he should be the teacher. Every class has one or two (sometimes three) of this type. Not only does the student’s mindset distract the others who are trying to learn, it prevents him from learning all that he could because he is more focused on giving instructions than receiving them. The process of reminding him of his role as student is an uncomfortable one for all involved; the learning environment is only fulfilling when all members remember who they are.
That, my eager readers, is what I learned this past week in summer school. I was struggling with various types of fear and anxieties regarding the absence of My Love. I would make lists in my mind of everything that could go wrong during this time of separation and then I would think, “But if I was with him I know everything would be fine.” And that is where my Instructor stepped in. “So you know better than I what my students need to learn? Are you the teacher in this classroom?” were His probing questions. I bowed my head in shame. The conversation was all too familiar, for it is the very one I have had so many times with my young pupils: “Excuse me, who is the teacher in this classroom?”
The main purpose of Summer School 2013 is to grow each of us deeper into our Savior. For my fiance and I, the results of this deeper relationship with Christ will be a deeper connection with one another and a healthier, stronger marriage. In our marriage we will each have different roles to fill. He must be the provider, protector, and spiritual leader of our family. He can only do so correctly by being utterly dependent on Jesus and this can only be if he is tested in extreme ways in order to build that reliance on Christ. In our marriage I must be able to submit to my husband’s authority and, ultimately, Christ’s authority. This means that I will need to trust both of them. Trusting them doesn’t mean I have no fear; it means that I acknowledge that their love is more powerful than whatever it is I fear. None of these lessons are simple ones to learn. They require intense one-one-one tutelage, but we could not have a better Teacher.
I now see that I was having such difficulty this summer because I was trying to be the teacher once again. Recognizing this tendency has brought me profound peace. I want my teacher to be my Teacher, and I also do not want to interfere with my classmate’s learning. We have a few more challenging weeks ahead of us, but the celebration at the end of school is going to be worth it!