My dear little boy,
This morning I was washed with a wave of nostalgia about the months when I was eagerly anticipating your arrival. During those months my thoughts were filled with wonder about what your tiny face would look like, how you would feel in my arms, and whether or not we would bond. My heart was filled with prayers for your health and for your future in this tainted world. After you were born I was consumed with getting to know you and how to take care of you; I didn’t spend too much time praying for anything beyond making it through another night.
Now we are settled into a routine; my heart skips a beat every time your wondering eyes search for my face whenever someone else is holding you. I truly can’t remember a time when I haven’t known you. We even share inside jokes, those times when we just look at each other and start giggling together. It’s wonderful. As I gaze at you I am struck with pangs of fear. You are the epitome of innocence. Your intense round eyes soak up everything; you startle when there is an extremely loud noise; you are never more content than when you are snuggled in your favorite blanket next to Poppa and Mama. Home is your world and your world is a safe place.
I know what is waiting for you in the real world. It is a vicious place. There are people eagerly waiting to steal your innocence and destroy your joy. Your instinct to love bright and beautiful things and savor soft, peaceful sounds will be derided. I want to protect you from all things evil, but I also know that the best way to do that is to prepare you to be strong. As I spend every waking moment with you, I have noticed how my prayers for you are becoming more specific.
I pray that your heart will be sensitive to the wisdom that comes from God’s Holy Word. This wisdom will tell your eyes when to quickly turn away from evil sights. You will learn to tune out the words that hurt your innocent ears. Wisdom will give you the courage to use your tongue to defend the innocent and strengthen the weak. I pray that you will be disciplined in cultivating your mind through academic and biblical studies while also training your body to be strong through a healthy diet and consistent exercise. Most of all I pray that your heart will always be close to home, whether your original home and family or your own when you are married, even when you are physically absent from it. I know that these seem like obvious prayers, but as I view this world through mother’s eyes I see how these very things are being so frequently undermined.
I love you, Little Guy. Continue to find simplicity so satisfying, home so wonderful, routine so important, and ordinary so delightful.