I read an article this morning about a view that I have always held to: life is messy.  It was confirmation that I didn’t really need for I only have to live my life to know that messy doesn’t even come close to adequately describing it.  There is the physical mess that comes from living in a tiny apartment with a dog, 2 cats, a rabbit, a husband, a baby, and my hair that is experiencing post-partum fall-out.  There is also the emotional mess that comes from being human, from being female, from being a wife, a mom, and a concerned citizen. All of the aforementioned mess leads to spiritual mess because I know that I don’t handle the first two very well.  I botch things up terribly and then I am too proud to quickly admit my failures and turn to God for His strength and assistance. Why is that?

Why does Man reject God? Jesus offers everything we long and seek for: the strength, the joy, the peace, the completion, the meaning; yet we dismiss Him and pursue gods of our own making.  That’s just it – “…of our own making” and in the process we take the throne.  It is ingrained within our flesh to be in control of our lives.  When things happen that render us powerless, we want to prove our control by blaming someone and our target is usually God.  In doing so, we unintentionally reveal that we know He is God.  We simply don’t want to answer to Him for that would mean admitting our error.

But a relationship with Jesus is so much more than coming face-to-face with my sin.  Yes, I have to repent every day, but in doing so I also encounter His love and mercy. Oh! The breadth and length and height and depth of the love of Christ.  It does surpass all human knowledge but the more desperate my need the more I experience it.  There is freedom in not being in control; there is peace in surrender.  I would not want to be God for then I would have to deal with sinners like me – and only God is up for that task!