It’s the start of a brand new day. I’m sipping coffee, listening to the clock ticking away, and wondering what this day is going to hold for me. Yesterday was a whirlwind day of Monday mayhem from beginning to end. It wasn’t a bad day-just a Monday kind of day. I did many things but few of them were on my to-do list; my goal for this summer is to put fewer things on my list and just see what happens. It’s a new type of goal for my type-A, get-things-done, always-have-a-list, perfectionist personality, and I’m kind of excited about it! In the process of settling into summer, I am discovering a new sense of freedom.
As mentioned in previous posts, spring was anything but an easy season for me. I was bombarded with much upheaval in nearly every facet of life. At times it was overwhelming; I felt like there was little time to catch my breath before the next change or the next challenge rolled around. I was striving to give my very best to everyone in all things and the results of my efforts only left me disheartened. I planned and analyzed and stayed awake and planned and analyzed some more to make sure that I was being the perfect wife, mom, friend and Christian that I could be in the midst of all the chaos that came with the new year. And I was left burned out, despairing and exhausted by all the ways I failed.
And then Jesus opened my eyes to the truth: “See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called children of God; and such we are…And you know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin.” (1 John 3) No matter how hard I strive to live well and with the best of intentions, I will always come up short and always be left with a longing to do more and do better. Jesus is the One who accomplishes what I cannot. When I strive for patience, He takes me that extra step; when I want to forgive, He fills my heart with the compassion I need to do so; when I yearn to love more and better, He prompts me to take action; when I seek joy, He shows me how to rest; when I long for a peaceful heart, He reminds me that sin has no power over me; when I am searching for answers, He teaches me through His Word; when I feel lost, He speaks to me and I remember who I am. It’s a dance: He moves and I follow.
This summer has begun well. I am eager to simply sit and watch my children play. I am ready to settle into a relaxed pace, to get distracted, to follow rabbit trails and to laugh every day. And most of all, I am ready to abide in Jesus and follow His voice wherever it leads me. This summer I am thankful that my everything isn’t enough; Jesus is.