How ARE You?

One of the simplest and most sacrificial ways we can show love to someone else is by taking the time to genuinely listen to them and to show them that we are ready to listen. Recently I was convicted about this in my relationships.

I keep a tight schedule since routine is critical to the smooth functioning of our day. I have little time for long chats (as much as I would like them) and my emotional energy is often maxed out towards the middle of the day when I might have the chance to converse with fellow adults. Needless to say, when I’m able to interact with friends or relatives I have the habit of forming opinions and prepping responses while the other person is talking or texting with me. I think I do this to maximize my time and cut down on small talk. But that is not sincere listening.

Listening means not formulating opinions until they are asked for since I don’t truly know what it’s like to walk in her shoes. It means avoiding having prepped answers for the sake of hearing the other person’s heart and not merely their words. And it means asking, How are you? and really wanting to know.

In her book Make It Happen, Lara Casey says that women avoid answering the how are you? inquiry honestly because they assume people don’t really want to know. Let’s change that this month, shall we? Let’s step out and ask and posture ourselves for listening. And let’s honor the genuine inquirer by giving an honest answer.

I’ll start: how am I? I’m tired and a little overwhelmed with all that I think should be done. I am afraid to lighten the daily load more than I already have because what if I never get passed doing the bare minimum of food, sleep schedules and laundry? I’m a little lonely. My day doesn’t allow much time for deeper connections with other women. I squeeze in a text, Polo or post where I can. I want to connect with my children on a deeper level too, but it sometimes feels like the demands of their physical care prevent that. Yet, I do feel content overall. I like my quiet moments, my writing, my book time and having a professional side with my Thirty-One business. Best of all, I know God sustains me when I can’t go on another minute.

How are you?

About wordvessel

Aloha! This blog is a window into the active mind of a wife, mother, woman and individual. I may be busy every moment of every day, but I still have time to think. Many seasons have blossomed and faded within my life, and this blog has endured through all of them. It is safe to say that my writing has matured because of them. I hope that you will be inspired to think in fresh ways as you read my writing. To Jesus be all the glory.
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4 Responses to How ARE You?

  1. Good morning Shelby, I still struggle in this area. I think we all do. Though time and full mama/writing/wife/job/ministry brains are no excuse, it is reality
    What has helped me is choosing whom to spend time with throughout the day or week. For those impromptu meetings or even now in larger social gatherings, the struggle becomes real. Is she interested in what I have to say? Am I giving my undivided attention to this conversation?
    Glad to hear from you, always. I appreciate your honesty. I am coming down after a great weekend of ministry, a spiritual high. Trying to get enough sleep and looking to Him as my only hope. Winter is a trigger for my depression. We press on, building each up in His bountiful grace. May He bless you today, Shelby.


  2. Beautiful, beautiful post. So right about the reason we hesitate to answer the question, in my case sometimes the answer is bit lengthy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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