A year ago I had spent the two weeks prior to this day focused inwardly and feeling miserable. I was beyond ready to have my baby in my arms and be rid of all the discomfort that comes with being two weeks post due date. A year later I have spent nearly the past two weeks before this day focused inwardly and feeling miserable as I recover from COVID and ponder all that’s going on in this world. Is it just me or does the world seem to get more perplexing every year?

Much to my relief Rowan did come and his birth was one of the most beautiful experiences in my life. I still think back on it and can remember every detail- bright sunlight shining on us being one of the most prominent memories and the bag of waters bursting all over everyone within range just before he was born.

From day one Rowan has shown situational awareness and emotional acuity. Within days of birth he smiled and hasn’t stopped. He makes intense eye contact and anyone who responds is greeted with a four teeth grin. Once Rowan figured out that legs are for standing, he practices standing without holding on multiple times a day and he cheers himself on with baby claps.

His personal motto is, “ah da!” And it suffices for every scenario in which he finds himself; that, and kissing sounds. Those always get his family’s attention too. Music gets little be-bops out of him and he enjoys carefully looking at old book friends and reflecting to himself about each page. I remember so clearly those first weeks of bonding and snuggling with him. I studied every inch of him and was just in wonder about his freshness. And somehow he went from a tiny brand new person to someone who holds his own in the family. He went from swaddling to crawling in how many short months? Milk to solids? Gazing at the ceiling to driving toy cars with his brothers?

The world does feel like a more perplexing place each year but celebrating this one-year old today reminds me that the things of value last: the security of home where babies are safe to be themselves; the consistency of family to annoy and celebrate each other; the repetition of those book friends that stay the same no matter how often they are read; and the confidence that God creates life even while knowing what lies ahead.

Happy birthday dear Rowan Micaiah! Remember your name!