weeklythoughtexchange

Every now and then I have to share with you the happenings in the life and mind of a certain dear friend of mine. Sometimes her experiences and comments on said experiences are so profound I know they are blog material; unfortunately, I can’t take credit for them myself. Anyway, the new event in her life is Match.com and on this event I have to give my two cents.

My initial reaction to her announcement of joining this site was, “Meat market!”  To me, that’s all I could think of – a parade of people showing themselves off and promoting their own quality. I know I wouldn’t want millions of people looking at me and assessing whether or not I am good enough to give another thought. I still shudder at the thought. Besides, she might be being viewed by rapists, serial killers, and identity thieves!!  Who could be that desperate for a relationship, I ask?

However, my dear friend insisted that my perception of this site and process was greatly inaccurate. She informed me that it is reputable and safeguards are put in place to ensure the security of all who join.  Instead of being a “meat market,” it is a way for those who are serious about pursuing a relationship to find others who are equally serious, and who may possibly be compatible. Plus, it gives her more control over the situation, since she can select or ignore whomever she chooses. It might possibly be even safer than meeting and attempting to get acquainted with random strangers in person.

While I still hesitate at the thought of checking the site out myself, though she is encouraging me to do so, I am a little more open to the idea. Perhaps it’s a safe, inexpensive way to expand my social world, without having to actually drive to social gatherings and deal with all those dining out bills. Besides, it might be comforting to see how many eligible people are learning to live well…alone.

This is an opinion paper about drugs that was recently submitted by one of my 7th grade boys:

Hello everyone. In this article I would like to raise awareness on drugs – what they are and what they can do to you. I am going to cover some of the main drugs like marjuana and methamphetamine. These drugs are the root cause of the many crimes committed in these times. They can also be the root of suicide, murder, and eath. A lot of people just think it’s a drug and you shouldn’t do it, but it’s more than that. It’s the next suicidal teenager, it’s the next shooting, and it could be the next death. People just don’t think about it like that. So now I’m going to describe some of the drugs and the effects they have on your body.

First, the most commonly abused drug in North America, marijuana. This drug comes from a plant called, Cannabis. This drug moves quickly through the bloodstream, affecting yoru brain and other organs. If you take marijuana at a young age, it can resutl in structural defects in the brain. This can cause weakened verbal and communication skills, lower learning capabilities, and a shortened attention span. This drug not only affects your brain, it all also affects your still developing lungs.  When you smoke marijuana it produces 50-70% more carcinogenic hydrocarbons than tobacco smoke.

The next drug iso one of the most highly addictive drugs, heroin. Heroin is produced from morphine produced from the Asian poppy plant, so this is a naturally occurring substance people have learned to abuse. People can abuse heroin by injection, snorting, or smoking it. This drug enters the brain very quickly so it becomes easy to be dependent. It is very hard to know the actual purity of heroin because they mix it with other substances. This technique is also used in cocain or crack. This is called “cutting.” A risk you take while on heroin is that it does not easily dissolve. This means it can cause a blood clot in the heart, lungs, or liver which is instantly fatal.

Finally, meth, I call it the drug that messes with your heart. Almost all its side effects are linked to the heart: rapid heartbeat, irregular heartbeat, and elevated blood pressure. This drug also affects the central nervous system which includes the brain and brain stem. This drug also causes you to become anxious and violent. It can cause you to hallucinate; the most common hallucination is that bugs are crawling under your skin. Meth users pick at the “bugs” which causes scabs to appear all over their body.

Okay, I am done describing these drugs and the effects they have on your body. If you did not notice, most of these drugs are naturally occurring. That just shows you that man is always looking for a way to destroy himself with that is around him. It also shows that these drugs cause death, maybe not always the users, but sometimes to the people around them. Well, thanks for reading.”

What more is left to be said?

Jesus be my Teacher

In every way that’s true.

May I be a mirror

Who’s sole reflection is you.

Teach me to have Faith,

The conviction of things not seen.

May my eyes see the eternal

And know it’s not a dream.

Teach me how to Hope,

For promises do come true.

Inspire me to persevere

And build my character in you.

Teach me to sincerely Love,

For it will never fail.

Let who you are shine through me

And let your Truth prevail.

We’re all aware of time. We comment on how swiftly it passes or how monotonous it can be. We bemoan the fact that we’re aging, yet we can hardly wait for the new and improved IPad to be “in stores now!” or that new movie to be “in theatres everywhere!” The ironic thing is that the pace of time does not change; it is simply our perspective that alters.

This weekend I participated in my fifth 30 Hour Famine. This year we had roughly 70 students in attendance and most of them were the students I teach every day. Despite the hunger pains in my stomach, the cardboard taste in my mouth, the sweaty residue on my skin, and the concrete floor I had to sleep on, it was an amazing way to spend my time.  Time seemed to slow down as I played games with my kids or let my shoulder be used as a pillow for a weary head. Time seemed to magnify the little things – the eyes reflecting hunger and determination, the jokes that can only come from shared suffering, the ready embraces that reveal gratitude for caring.

Most of all, time allowed me to hear that still, small voice of the Shepherd whispering, “Feed my sheep. Tend my lambs.” I knew what He meant.  The students that have crossed my path at this moment are so used to being set aside for the more pressing demands of life – job, money, friends, whatever. They’re used to being told to, “Hurry up!” “Get to the point!” “Can’t it wait?” “Hold on! I’m busy.” “I’ll get to you in a moment.” “I have a few minutes to spare, so keep it brief.”  They are seeking someone who will simply be available, who is willing to just be there, who cares about the little things (like his jumping over 2 desks at a time, or reading the first 12 chapters of her book, or scary dreams they had last night) as much as the big things (good grades, sports’ championships, plans for the future).

I may not have all the time in the world, since I only have one life to live; but I’m alive for this moment and that’s what I can give them.

You recently wrote me a very thought-provoking letter that every teacher should feel honored to receive, yet hesitate to respond to because of the wisdom needed to pen the truth.  I have delayed answering for that very reason. I pray that my response comes not from my heart, but from God’s.

You asked: “What are the right choices? Obviously, the first would be to remember God, but I am requesting the little things. If you can’t do the little, how do you do the big? So I ask, what are the right steps? What would be good to know? What makes a responsible adult?”

The right choices are those that honor God, for you were created for that purpose. The only way to know what He would have you do, is by building your relationship with Him. You do this by spending time with Him in a sincere state of mind. Make reading your Bible, praying, and listening the hightest priority of your day, and then look for opportunities to do the right thing. Sometimes the right things are little things, like you mentioned, but in the end they turn out to be the most significant because they are preparing you for the bigger challenges ahead. If you can’t be respectful to your mom, how will you be respectful to your wife? If you can’t be patient with your younger siblings, how will you be patient with your own children? If you can’t be honest on a test, how will you be trusted in a business? If you don’t follow through on your homework, how will you follow through on paying your bills? Etc.  Jesus said that to whom much is given, much is required, and to those who can be trusted with small responsibilities, more responsibility will be entrusted to them.

You also inquired: “How do I know what God tells me?” I know you read the Bible and you struggle with thinking of it as God’s direct word to you, but it is. When you feel distant from God, the best thing is to continue doing what you know is right and take some extra time out to be still and listen. Get up early in the morning if you have to, tell God what is on your heart, and then begin  reading the Bible. Write down everything that speaks to your heart and also write down how you can it apply it to your life that day. Perhaps right now God is teaching you self-discipline or patience. We can’t demand an answer from Him; He will reply in His time.

Your third round of questions: “How am I to be a gentleman and what do girls consider quality in a guy? I take notes one day and then they’re useless the next. How do I know the right girl?” 

A gentleman makes a practice of respect. I know that it is a challenge for young men these days, to practice the art of gentlemanly behavior. Women say they want it, but they often mock it when they see it. Stand firm and don’t revert to their level. Be a gentleman no matter how hard it is. Never give a girl a hard time or roughhouse with her. Keep your word. Maintain your honor. Treat women as the ladies they should be; this could mean you will have to speak the truth if they are behaving inappropriately towards you. Limit physical contact with the opposite sex.  Your conduct will attract the type of girl you are looking for. A lady will recognize a gentleman and respect him for it. That is the kind of girl you want, when the time is right.

And lastly, the most challenging question of all: “What makes a man a Man?” A man doesn’t let other people decide who he is, he decides for himself. That was Jesus. People wanted to make Him king of an earthly realm, or a zealot for their cause, or a miracle worker for their every whim and fancy. He knew that He came to fulfill His Father’s will of redeeming us to Himself, and he followed through, no matter what the cost. At times His calling required extreme compassion and patience; other times, it demanded rebuking evildoers. It always involved consistent time spent alone with God so that He could know and obey His Father’s will. Jesus is your example of a true Man – strong and kind, focused and patient, warrior and shepherd, passionate and disciplined, humble and dignified, honorable and willing to stand alone, honest and sacrificial, provider, protector, and leader.

I hope, dear Student, that these answers give you a little more guidance in the direction you are desiring to walk. I am confident in your noble heart and I will always be proud of the man that Jesus designed you to be. I remain ever privileged to be,

Your Teacher 

There are times when my students become very rambunctious, loud, and completely unfocused. I’ll attempt to ring the bell or raise my voice, but those attempts usually only add to the chaos. Then I must resort to what seems like the most unnatural thing to do – stand still, fold my hands in front of me, and simply be silent while taking the time to directly look each student in the face. And one by one, the students will calm down, sit down, and listen.

Recently my heart and mind have been in a flurry of anxious thoughts and emotions. In response to their chaotic state I have rushed to my God and demanded immediate answers. I want to know why I am always disappointed. Why can’t He tell me exactly how I should handle the frustrating situations at work? Will I be able to manage my schedule in the weeks and months ahead when things get even more hectic? And of course, I wouldn’t mind a few unexpected surprises in life that will take my breath away! When will those ever come?  Oh yeah, and why do my dreams always come true in other people’s lives? Would it end the world for me to have a few fairytale moments and happily ever after’s? Guess what? Jesus has been quite silent in response to these loud and demanding ranting sessions of mine.

Today is Good Friday (which is why I am writing early).  This is the day when my Savior gave everything He had and cried out, “IT IS FINISHED!” In that moment the entire world held its breath in silence for even God had turned His face away from the Son who was His everything. He turned His face away from Jesus and onto me, something He could never do as long as my sins stood between us. Jesus’s sacrifice dissolved the barrier.  In the silence was the answer.

Now that I pause and ponder, I think I know exactly what Jesus is doing. He is standing right by me, hands folded, looking intently in my face, waiting for me to remember what I know.

I have an Eeyore complex. This means that when I first wake up in the morning I need to battle the urge to be gloomy. I expect my worries to come true and my fears to haunt me. As I’m anticipating a fun event  I expect to be the one left out. After the fun event, no matter how delightful it was, my first urge is to either be depressed because it’s over or to analyze it for some way I could have had better social etiquette. When I don’t hear from friends for a while I immediately imagine the worst or assume that I’ve done something to offend them.  It’s much easier for me to sit and weep than  laugh and have a good time.

But that doesn’t have to the be end of the story! Just because I may find it easier to be Eeyore does not mean that I can’t learn to be a little more like Tigger or Kanga or Roo, or even Pooh, in learning to look for the sunny side of life.  We live in a culture that urges us to follow our heart, usually meaning the easy road. Depression is a downhill slide, but fighting it is an uphill battle.  People quickly become addicted to meds simply because it’s nice to let the chemicals do their fighting for them, rather than picking up a broom and sweeping someone else’s front porch.

I am learning to fight the gloom. I read my Bible and pray when I first wake up in the morning in order to remember that God is in control of my day and I want to do things His way. When challenges come throughout the next 16 hours or so, I attempt to view them as strength-building exercises and opportunities to cultivate courage, wisdom, and discretion in my character. And in those hours when I want to curl up, cry, and count the clouds, I force myself to think of someone else in need and then write them a card of encouragement, or serve them if they are close by.

Perhaps it sounds a bit Pollyannish, but honestly, I only have one life to live and I don’t want to waste it moaning about the dark side. There’s a reason why rainbows come after a storm and the sun’s rays are more brilliant when they pierce the darkest clouds.

My two-year old niece has a pacifier which she refers to as her “ra-ra.”  This small, plastic item brings her great comfort when she is tired, upset, or bored. She demands it when she needs it, then sucks on it, carries it around, or offers it to her toys.  For some reason, when I observe the interaction of the general populace and their electronic gadgets, I am reminded of my toddler niece and her ra-ra.  I see everyone from teens to housewives, from grown men in business suits to elementary kids with their backpacks, from college students to senior citizens hypnotized by their phones, Ipads, Ipods, etc.

Though I occasionally roll my eyes at this technological hypnosis, I’m used to it for the most part. I am incorporating various forms of media into my lesson plans and I’ll be the first to admit that my students know more about computers, texting, and Instagrams than I do. I’ll quickly sing the praises of technology and the many benefits that come with it: organization, quick access to information, the speed and global reach of the Web, a smaller world, and strengthened relationships thanks the courtesty of social networking.  However, I’d be a fool to not acknowledge the negative side of technology as well.

In previous blogs I’ve bemoaned the dependency technology is creating in our society and the overall weakening of our senses and social skills that come from hours glued to a screen and keypad, not to mention the lack of privacy and the damaged relationships that come from an obsessive use of media. Yet there is one concern that I have just begun to identify in adolescents and adults alike, and I directly relate it to technology. This negative is shorter attention spans.  It used to be that people would stand for hours listening to the Bible read or sit glued to the radio to take in a favorite radio program. Kids could memorize pages of Shakespeare or other famous poetry and lovers separated by great distances would write lenghty missives to one another and have them sent by the U.S.Postal Service.

Now everything must be done within seconds and anything that last longer than 10, 15 minutes at the most, is considered boring, outdated, and ridiculous. If I lecture for just 10 minutes my students eyes are already glazing back and I’ve noticed the same thing during our pastor’s sermons or speeches given at Christmas parties.  We want instant messaging, microwavable dinners, and movies on demand. If our dog won’t be housebroken in a week, he’s out of here! If my computer slows down, it’s trash.  But life is spread throughout a lifetime and the richest flavor in wine or cheese comes from the ones that are aged the longest. The best memories are unplanned and the deepest lessons are processed over and over again.

In a recent TIME article, Annie Murphy Paul wrote an article entitled “Your Head Is in the Cloud.” She points out that because of our technological conditioning we not think of where we can find the answers to a problem, rather than trying to solve it on our own. We don’t try to remember as much anymore, because we assume it will always be available to us and finally, our memories are not of the new information, but of where the information can be accessed later on.  Unfortunately, she states, this utter dependency on technology is setting ourselves up for disaster, should something every leave us without our computers or Internet access.  Besides that, computers will never understand context and incorporating context into our lives and discussions is a skill that is being continually cultivated.

In summary, computers, Interent, phones, etc. are wonderful additions to life. We should learn about them and put them to productive use, but we should never make them our link to existence. Our brain will always be more dependable and convenient than our favorite form of technology and we should never stop strengthening it. There comes a time when our answers to life come from within our own minds and our meaningful to those around us, not from a ra-ra that restrains us to the confines of infancy.