These words still resound in my heart: “We are not doing this for fun. We are fighting.”  This is a quote from Ken Cuccinelli, attorney general of Virginia, in reference to the strenuous schedule he maintains in order to balance family life and a political career led by conviction.  His statement forced me to ponder my life. How many decisions do I make that are based on comfort while sacrificing conviction versus the other way around?  Let’s take a look at a few.

1. Diet~I know that saturated fats and processed foods do not enhance my health in any way. A natural diet of organic fruits, vegetables, and free-range meat would definitely increase my energy, reduce colds and fatigue, and improve my complexion and weight. But those chips and fries taste SO  good and are so easily accessible; and they are much cheaper (in some ways).   Which leads me to my second point…

2. Money-management~I am disciplined in paying off my bills, but what do I do with the few dollars left over? I usually spend them on myself, buying clothes, books, accessories, and trinkets that I really don’t need.  There are many other causes of lasting value that would certainly be a much better use of my money, including supporting our local, organic farmers.

3. Exercise~I long to run 5 miles with ease. I admire people who run so gracefully and find such fulfillment in it. There are moments when my legs ache to consume those miles and I know it would do my heart and lungs a world of good. I feel such satisfaction when I have completed my run for the day (and my dog is  happy too), but for some reason it is ever a battle to get out there…

4. Rest~Eyes are probably rolling at this one, but it’s true. Sleep is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.  It sets the pace for the day and it takes disclipine to get enough of it. When I find myself nearing exhaustion in the middle of the afternoon, or find it agony to rise early in the morning, I know it’s because I allowed myself to squander those evening hours watching TV, checking e-mails, or reading when I should have been asleep.

I know that the Lord has entrusted me with this life and the resources to live it well. I do not want to waste my time, energy, or resources in catering to my wants and comforts, rather than furthering His kingdom and spreading the Truth – that Jesus has undying love for His people.  But is this conviction governing my life?  It is not my place or privilege to spend time or money on my wants; it is my responsibility to pass on to others what God has entrusted to me. To do so I need to be a good steward of all that He has given me – health, relationships, intelligence, and money. 

What are your convictions? Are they worth the sacrifice of your comfort?

This past week I went to a community forum regarding the threat on parents’ rights coming from UNICEF’s Convention on the Rights of the Child (http://www2.ohchr.org/english/law/crc.htm).  Why is this a threat? you might ask. At face value it appears to be a wonderful step in protecting children from sexual exploitation, slave labor, illiteracy, and the effects of inadequate healthcare and malnourishment. At face value. But dig a little deeper and you will discover that the best interest of the child is determined by a committee of 18 people with headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland. This means that if you are a parent or a guardian you will have no say in where your child goes to school or what he learns there, what medical care your child receives, how to discipline your child, what type of religious instruction your child can receive, and the list continues. If you attempt to fight against the law your child could be removed from your home and custody. Yet ironically enough, in certain countries they still have not determined if honor killings violate children’s rights and in countries governed by Shariah Law, Shariah Law takes precedence…meaning children, particularly female children, have no rights at all. 

There is growing pressure for the United States to sign on to this convention, though many lower courts are ruling in certain parental rights cases as if we already have. If the U.S. Senate ratifies this treaty, by constitutional law it will have precedence over every law in the land, except for the U.S. Constitution.  In order to protect parental rights as a fundamental right under the Constitution, we must have Parental Rights Amendment ratified.  This amendment would explicitly state that parental rights are fundamental and cannot be ignored unless in the case of obvious abuse or neglect. It also states that no international law or treaty can be entered into that would strip parents of their rights to raise their children.  

I was disappointed that only a handful of people attended the community forum. I am concerned that this is a reflection of the attitude people have towards moral dangers that threaten our way of life.  We grumble when gas prices go up or taxes are raised; we shrink in fear if there is an outbreak of e.coli, swine flu, or dengue fever; we rush to stock up on rice, toilet paper, and batteries if there is a severe weather warning; and we wail if our favorite TV show is taken off the air or if our favorite American Idol candidate lost.  But when there is a threat to our kids, our future, and our liberty we choose to shrug our shoulders and continue on with our busy life.

The Bible quotes the sluggard as saying “There is a lion outside,” in order to excuse his laziness. Well, America, there is a lion outside. It has ravaged the world and it is beginning to devour our children. This is not an empty threat; it is real and it is deadly. Edmund Burke boldy declared, “Evil triumphs when good men do nothing.” I ask, are we really good if we choose to do nothing?

For more detailed information on the UNCRC, the Parental Rights Amendment, specifics on the parental rights already being denied American parents, or how you can help fight for the amendment and against the treaty, go to: http://www.parentalrights.org

On a side note, the next post will be on July 3rd.

Yesterday I had a mind-stretching, faith-building, belief-sifting debate with three of my beloved coworkers. It began with a mention of last week’s post, “Gender-free baby,” and eventually covered everything from growing replacement organs to the credibility of the Bible, to gay rights and beyond.  Yet the main  theme of the debate was open-mindedness and tolerance, and how devastating it can be when a society is judgmental to those who have chosen an alternative path in life. My coworkers never fail in causing me to take a deeper look at matters that I often take for granted, yet are crucial in living a relevant life in 21st century society.  On the 30-minute commute home from work I pondered our debate and began to draw a few more conclusions regarding the popular claims of being tolerant and open-minded.

Perhaps there are misconceptions regarding the cliched terms mentioned above. It is assumed that one must agree with everyone’s choices in order to be defined as open-minded and one must embrace all lifestyles and beliefs to be accepted as tolerant.  I disagree, for in such definitions there is a logical discrepancy: to agree with everything means to disagree with something, because certain beliefs absolutely contradict each other. For a very exaggerated example: if I agree with one person that my absolute favorite color is white, then I cannot agree with another person that I share their absolute favorite color of black.  I cannot place black and white at an equal preference level; one must take precedence over another, even if by a slim margin.

This discrepancy is clearly brought to light when it comes to judging those who maintain the traditional values of a Judeo-Christian society.  These people are frequently condemned as judgmental and intolerant because they take adamant stands against certain controversial issues.  To label this group of people is to contradict the heart of those who are the champions of tolerance and its partner, open-mindedness.  In that instant they are not accepting of the fact that everyone has a certain set of values and standards which govern their lives.  Before I go further, allow me to briefly define values and standards.

• A value is a governing belief that is closely guarded because of the meaning it brings to one’s life. We protect things that are valuable such as money, gold, jewels, an expensive car, a family heirloom, or, in a more intangible way, one’s reputation, a tradition, or certain beliefs.
• On the other hand, a standard is an ideal to maintain that defines one’s level of accomplishment or place in life. In medieval times every lord had a standard that was carried with him into battle. Each standard declared who was on the battlefield.  Institutions, organizations, and individuals have ideals for how they conduct their work, purposes, and lives. They wish to maintain these ideals and that aspiration is their standard.

If I judge someone for being close-minded I am assessing them according to my standard of living and am therefore stating that I have a value set which governs my life and sets my standards. I am also saying that their values are different from mine. Thus, those who judge intolerance in the name of tolerance, or close-mindedness in the name of open-mindedness, are declaring that there are absolutes of right and wrong; this is in contradiction to the liberal definition of open-mindedness.

However, I would like to conclude by saying that it is possible to be open to another’s views and beliefs while still disagreeing with them and acknowledging of another’s choice in living while inwardly believing it is wrong.  I can adamantly disagree, and even take a public stand against their values if I believe they are a detriment to my own values, while still respecting their soul and their humanity.  Value clashes are what shape, define, and grow a society as long as they are not done in hateful ways that demean individuals.

 The purpose of today’s post is not to debate gay rights, abortion, and all of the other hot topics (that might come another day); it is merely to firmly state that one can hold fast to one’s values and standards, even if they are in direct opposition to today’s mainstream society, and still be respectful and caring to those holding to the opposing beliefs.

What do you say?

Today I am going to take a different turn with my post topic of the week.  This past week on AOL News I read about a Canadian couple who is keeping the gender of their 4-month old baby, Storm, a secret. They are doing this so that their child can choose its own identity without societal pressure to conform to gender norms.  Their decision has, of course, caused quite a stir among the general populace, as well as among psychologists and early education specialists. Some call it progress; others, a form of psychological child abuse.

My initial reaction was one of disbelief and ridicule. How far are people going to go and to what end? I think it’s very possible that they may unconsciously push their child into one gender by overcompensating to avoid favoring the gender it acutally is. Why make life more complicated than it already is? And why is it such a big deal if our society has gender roles and norms? In reality, every society and culture does. Hey! Even the animal kingdom acknowledges differences between sexes.

But then I started to reconsider my position and dared to think that some good might actually come of this. Perhaps the parents will be successful in creating a gender-neutral environment so that nature can take its natural course, unencumbered by nurture. It will be fascinating to see which gender this child “chooses.” If it is a boy, will he be drawn to cars, and swords, and tackle games? Will he indeed favor blue and puke at pink? Or maybe it is a girl. Will she cuddle baby dolls and want a princess birthday party? Will she play dress up and walk around the house in her mom’s high-heels?

There are only a few moments in time when society’s pendulum is perfectly centered. It is usually swinging from one extreme to another. Sure – boys can cry and girls can climb trees; dads can change diapers and moms can change a tire. There is nothing wrong in that.  But we don’t have to frown when boys despise pink or when little girls want to be mommies when they’re all grown up.  Roles provide stability in a world that’s spinning while the pendulum swings. 

So, Storm, what’s it going to be? Pink or blue?

It’s raining today. It’s been raining for about a week. There have been periods of sunshine – just enough to dry the roads a little and heat up enough water for a tepid shower.  At first the thunderstorms and the steady of patter of the raindrops are a nice change from the days and days of heat and sweat that come with sunny days. It’s fun to be secure in a cozy home and curl up with a book or in front of a good movie.  But after the 8th day and with 8 more forecasted, the spirits start to droop and all of life takes on a gray hue.  Plans have to be cancelled and getting up an hour early in order to miss the traffic on the way to work starts to get exhausting. Staying in bed and sleeping away the bad weather becomes ever more appealing.

Sometimes that describes life. We have those stretches in life when trials and storms come. In the beginning you might feel brave and heroic; you are going to be the righteous martyr who takes the pain without self-pity and will glorify God in the midst of suffering. But then disappointment builds upon disappointment. Dreams fade and life just doesn’t turn out like you pictured it would. Friends betray; jobs don’t fulfill; bills pile up; expectations aren’t met; health fades; hearts break; God seems distant.  Courage starts to wane and there are days when you want to stay under the covers and sleep life away. You never seem able to get ahead.  There are days when life seems to cheer up and your hope is renewed once more, but those days seem so few in number compared to the ones with trials and temptations.

Yet every storm must come to an end. The rainbow appears, the clouds roll away like the curtains on a stage and the sun brilliantly pours forth in all its glory. You look around and are surrounded by green – everywhere! The flowers are smiling, the trees shouting for joy. You want to kick off your shoes and jump into the glorious blue of ocean and sky.  But your spirits couldn’t soar nearly as high if it wasn’t for the repression of the storm causing you to wait.

And so it is with life. You will make it through the darkness and the reward will be all the sweeter for the agony that you went through in order to obtain it. The appreciation for life and all of its blessings is greater for the tempest.  Trust the God who can still the sea.

George Washington is probably one of the most respected men in American history. While I am sure there are the usual slanderers who always find some blemish in our heroes’ pasts, people from all walks of life and political spectrums appreciate Washington. One thing that he is renowned for was his ability to know how to conduct himself properly in every situation. He was a man of proper etiquette.  Before the age of 16, he had translated a French book of etiquette into English and carried it with him everywhere. These etiquette rules can be found at: http://www.history.org/almanack/life/manners/rules2.cfm

How would you define ‘etiquette’? Men opening doors for ladies? Or a young person giving up their seat for an older person? Or a man offering to carry the groceries for a mom busy with her small children? These are definitely attributes of proper etiquette, but it is not limited to them.  I have been pondering the rules of etiquette for our American society so that I can identify them for my students, and I am coming to the grave realization that our society doesn’t really have rules of etiquette! And the few that could be considered are so rarely used they hardly qualify as rules.

For example, when you join a room with a number of people in it, do you greet each one when you arrive and bid farewell to each one when you leave? They do in Europe. “Well,” you might say, “that’s hard to do when there’s a large group of people. It might not even be possible.” OK, then. Are children taught to look people in the eye and greet them whenever they see someone for the first time that day? Recently I had to teach my students that it is a sign of respect to acknowledge their teacher if they were to see her in public. 

Here’s another one: texting. Ah, yes! The main method of communication for Generation Text (those born in 1993 and after). Is it polite to text when you are in a face-to-face conversation with someone else? Or what if you’re at a small social gathering, even driving with someone, should you be sending and answering texts that are unrelated to the other person(s) you are with? “But what if everyone’s doing it?” you might ask.  Perhaps you can then set the example and suggest putting the phones away for a while in order to really focus on those who are physically present, unless you can all join in on each other’s phone conversations.

Oh yes! Let’s talk about the rule of follow-through. How many times has someone told you they were going to do something with you and never showed up. Or they said they would help out with a project or function and you never heard from them again. Maybe they had a great idea that you supported, and then you ended up being the one doing it because they started, you helped, and they never finished it. George Washington’s rules of etiquette would probably admonish us to be slow to commit unless we’re certain we can follow through; and then if something significant prevented us from fulfilling our obligation, we should be sure to inform the other parties involved, as soon as possible.

Some of you may be rolling your eyes and thinking, “That’s so old-fashioned! No one talks about etiquette anymore.” Or you might be saying, “Why be so uptight? Everyone should feel free to say and do what they want. Ainokea. I do what I like and I don’t want anyone telling me what to do.” Perhaps you simply feel that you’re too busy to remember all those things they did in the 1800’s. These excuses have taken etiquette hostage. Missing etiquette eventually leads to a lawless society. Each of rule of etiquette is grounded in a sense of respect for oneself and others. They remind us that we are not islands unto ourselves; rather, we cannot neglect our responsibilities or our duties. If we don’t defend our values, who will? 

Taken Hostage: Proper Etiquette. Wanted: Proof of Life.